Not Fun Anymore

Well, Mawi being a sell-out didn't ruin my Sunday evening. I went out with Irma. She wears a tudung now. Though she seemed indifferent about it, I was a bit….umm….not used to it. Okay, before this she told me that she was engaged already. I was shocked to hear that (pleasantly shocked, I guess) and it spiked my interest to ask her out. So, we had ice-cream. Turns out, she was just playing the fool. I still don't know why the hell I believed what she said. Anyway, I'm kinda relieved she told me the truth. Phew~

To pay back, I acted like an ass just now. Hhahaha….. I don't think she minds cos it was just like before, when we were in school. She sat next to me, and we would 'perli' each other at every chance.  It was teh fun. I remember Pn. Jamiah was kinda (very, actually) anal about us sitting together but who cares. One more thing, she seldom hands up her homeworks too. So it was great, I don't feel the pressure to do my homework either. And we were relatively tall, so we would always sit at the back. Sometimes, she sleeps but I'm always awake, I swear. Just that listening or not was another thing.

So, it was fun seeing her again.

And we went to Hajar's place. It was totally unplanned. I was sending Irma back and she suggested going to Hajar's place. But I was kinda reluctant because I'm afraid that I wouldn't know what to say to her. Well, it turned out quite good. We talked for some time and I got to know more about medic students' lives. And I got to eat pecan carrot cake, which was great. Hajar's sister made it, we were lucky to crash her place at the right time.  And I continued cracking jokes about Irma, just to irk her. I like myself….**hugs**

I got updated about our classmates and stuff. Which I greatly need, because I'm not rajin about contacting ppl either via sms, email, friendster or phone. I suck, I know. Sometimes, I don't even reply msges because I'm too lazy to type it out. Well, unless you're dying or something……umm….yeah you get the idea. But if that's the case, I would make a call(obviously, who WOULD msg that they're dying?). I actually prefer calling because I would get immediate answers and I wouldn't have to type out anything.

Now, you know.
Overall, it was a great day.

Bad mood. I don’t know why.

I was hanging up clothes for drying and I heard the neighbour’s radio saying something about Mawi.
Mawi. Mawwwi. Well, I don’t know his music but he sucks. He’s everywhere. TV, newspaper, you name it and he’s THERE. Reality shows about his assistant and shit like that. Maybe there’ll be a show about choosing the right underpants for him. Briefs? Y-fronts? Minis? Gs? Pink? Heh, maybe If he’s suing me for libel, it would be made into a reality show also. How convenient, I would be famous for the quote “Briefs? Y-fronts? Minis? Gs? Pink?”. Heehehe…..

And the most ridiculous thing is, there’s a contest of some sort to name his house. Personally I like to name my house Gladys. I wuv her so much that everytime I arrive at the doorstep, I’ll cry out “Oh, GLADYS!!! I missed you soooooo much. How are you, my honey-bunny-schnookums-mookums?”, and proceed to hug and kiss the pillar. I’m such a loveable person. Awww….

Well, he sucks. Big time! Of course, he’s not even in the same zip code/state/country/planet, as cute/good looking/handsome.

Well, enough about him. I’m supposed to be in a bad mood.

You know how if you wake up soooo late that your head just won’t feel right and your whole body will ache and such? Yeah, I’m in this precise state. Plus the bad mood. I don’t know which comes first, but urghhhhh!!! I hate this.

I suck playing piano also. I used to enjoy Fur Elise, but know I have to relearn it. Cos I forgot. Ugh…..
Die!!!Die!!!!!!Argh!!!!!!!!*roar*

Spunky.

I liked her character in Nana. She's quite pretty if dressed nicely. I'm ogling, as usual.

Immediately after watching the show, I had this want, this uncontrollable need, to get my grubby paws on the theme song 'Glamorous sky'. But I managed to put it off for more than half a year. More like I quickly forgot about it after a trip to the loo. So, just now, while lurking around in cyberspace, doing what I usually do, I found this page. I was overjoyed.

Finally, I had some clues to get to youtube. Ahem… I actually forgot the name of the song and I didn't even know her name. I only know one thing, which is 'Nana'. Catchy, easy to remember, but google searches were not quite fruitful with just 'Nana'. Hmm… I guess it IS quite possible to get it, but I wasn't so free then.

So, here you go: Nana Oosaki-Glamorous Sky

I can only make out a few English words, like 'rocking shoes'(?), 'let's go', 'oh remember' etc. Really, their pronunciations could do with some improvements. And they don't really make sense. Glamorous Sky? Rocking Shoes? But I gotta admit, this song must be very cool, to catch my attention. More so, if you've seen the movie. I loved it. Favourite character is of course, Nana Oosaki (not to be confused with the other Nana). And also Ren. *sigh*

Highly recommended to watch this movie. There's always Bittorent to rely on. *ahem*

Heard about that Windows thing?

so they will put up a balloon at the bottom-right corner of your screen. To remind you that you have a bootleg copy of Windows xp. To shame you, to prick your conscience, to make you buy an original Microsoft Windows XP, which costs about RM210 OR RM520 depending on how moronic you are.

I'm all for illegal stuff you see. It's actually ok to use pirated stuff. It's not against principles. For one thing, if they didn't charge the sky for something so lauya……I'll gladly shell out money to buy their stuff. Like RM100 for Windows is cool, I can handle that. RM 25 for a music CD is cool. A movie-DVD for RM30 is also cool. Cooler still, if old stuff like games are allowed to be downloaded free. Not those DOS-games that are bitches to install, however.

And alas, I read on Lowyat forums that you can choose not to install that particular patch. I dunno how true is that, but, phew!

On another note, I found something quite cool. It's something of a personal organizer with a calendar that sticks to your desktop(if you check/uncheck a few boxes) also something I read on Lowyat. It's the rainlendar. Uber cool, I say. But it's a tad depressing when after downloading and putting it in the right place that I realise, I don't have anything to include in the 'to do' list.

Back to the Windows thingie, it seems that if you don't have an ori copy of it, you won't be able to download IE7. Personally, I'm using Firefox already. Very user-friendly. One thing I like most, is that, if you type what u want in the address bar, like 'wikipedia', it will go straight to the page and not to the search-result page. Actually, it goes to the page of the top-most result by google. Very convenient. Furthermore, there are search bars on the menu bar that lets you do searches in google, wiki, amazon, ebay and lots more.

And I found alot of online-stations that play great music with winamp. I know, I used to hate winamp and all. But it's just because WMP is so much prettier that I hate winamp. Now I know that winamp has more juice than WMP, but I do prefer WMP still. Unless I have to use Linux next, then, I hope they have prettier skins.

Woke up this morning. Wallowed a bit in my bed, slept again.

Then I got up, grabbed my pillow and walked out to the living room. I landed my ass on the sofa and slept again. I have no idea why I do this.

Not long after, I heard my dad calling me. I staggered out of the house to where he was watering the plants. The sun was scorching my skin and my eyes hurt from the glares. He said something, but I couldn’t quite figure it out. Until he pointed at something lying on the grass and I went nearer to have a look.

Bloody hell……. It was my socks, torn and reduced to only half of its original glory. My lovely camouflage-patterned socks…..the most covetted of all my socks………….shit.

As usual, my dad blames me for everything happened. I’m like, of all the socks and shoes there, the obviously evil dog couldn’t take a bite from HIS socks? Ridiculous. Really, never have I once woken up to such anger. Ahhh….but it’s just a dog…..couldn’t get myself to hit it with the rotan…..it thinks I’m playing with him, holding the rotan like that. Stupid dog.

Grrr….

Anyway, I spent at least 10 hrs sitting in the car yesterday. Yep, we went to Melaka to see my bro. Oh, we also made a leeway to UM hospital to visit my aunt. She had an operation. I hope the best for her. It just seems that a lot of my aunties are down with something these days.

We arrived at Melaka at two something. My bro’s direction to his place, when asked, was “turn right when u see the petronas station, stay on the main road until u reach the endmost and turn left. After two road-bumps, u’ll see my car.”

Actually it was quite clear, but why does he describe it with the counting of road-bumps?

He brought us to Jonker street to have some durian cendol. Not bad, really. Just that I was busy giving the cold shoulder to my mom after she said things that she shouldn’t. She was being herself and I responded by being myself. Hahah… Every trip, she never fails to spoil my mood and I never fail to spoil everybody’s mood by sulking. Yeah, I know I’m 20 already, but I’ve realised recently that no matter how you have grown, you are always the brat and will still be treated as a brat in the family. The only way to react then, is to be a brat.

Then we had some sight-seeing driving around the area. Because frankly, Melaka is just one big circle and to get around, one must go in circles. So, we went to Mahkota Parade for a refuge from the hot sun. I was still sulking.

We went round and round again, looking for a parking space. Then, we strolled aimlessly and my parents saw the men’s-shoes department and my dad went anal about buying my bro a pair of new sandals cos his had a part of it chipped-away. My bro kept declining….then they would walk away from those shoes and mom would say something and the whole entourage would have to walk back there again. And he declined still.

But finally, he bought a pair from somewhere else. phew….  

It was about 5 something that we left and had satay celup at Capitol. It was apparently teh most famous satay celup that pwns all others. So I just had 4 sticks and they wolved down theirs. I didn’t bother counting theirs. But it was good, though the smell of cinnamon in the kuah kacang was a little bit over-powering. I had fun seeing how they mix some stuff and kacang into the kuah. And went it boils, it was like spurting lava.

The main aim at first was to track down the place of sotong kangkung that went on tv. It the show A Taste With Jason, or something, on Astro AEC. Located at Jln Bunga Raya, it was very famous. And the place was appalling. Honestly, it’s just a back-alley. Walking into the alley, you’ll see trash from the shops in the open, waiting to be picked-up. So we arrived, and THE stall wasn’t opened yet. Settled at THE stall’s neighbour who sells the exact same things. Strange enough, it was named Capitol also. According to Mr. Lee junior(my bro), they’re the same, just that the sauce is different. Actually, I don’t give a flying squirrel about it because I’m not crazy about cockcles, clams and any other molluscs anyway. Nevertheless, I gave them a try. Though the cockles are bloody once you open the shell, it was meant to be eaten as that. Dip it into the chilli sauce and pop it into your mouth. Texture wasn’t bad but it tastes bloody. The clams are like clams, nothing to shout about. But there’s another thing on our table. Some kind of sea-snail. I tried to be courageous, took one, removed all the entrails and filth but couldn’t put it into my mouth. It’s a snail……it’s against principles. My dad gladly took it from me. He popped it into his mouth without much thought. We didn’t give sotong kangkung a go because……. ummm….. i don’t know. Nobody brought it up that they wanted sotong kangkung anyway.

It was getting dark already and we headed back to bro’s place. We checked out his place and the usual comments flew….”oh, look how big this place is”….”shouldn’t u put ur computer on the table?” ………bla bla bla. He was renting the place with three other ppl. He even said that a snake got in recently. Cool. It was near a cemetry and nextdoor was quite unkempt.

We left Melaka at about 7.30 at night. Exitted the highway before Kuala Selangor and took the coastal road. I don’t why my dad took that route. Might be the high price for toll or the sudden need for an adventure. I half-slept the whole way. Things on the way reminded me of my childhood. Our family travelled a lot. Either balik kampung or just trips to other states for fun. Hours would be spent in the car. Most of the time my bro and I will quarrel and sometimes fight. When it gets bad, my dad will turn around and tell us to shut up or a hand will reach us and try to pinch/spank  us. Then the rest of the time, we’ll be sulking. Hahah…

Along the way, we passed some roads that we used to take. I remember having seafood at Bagan Serai where the restaurant edges over the water and if one poops, it will drop directly into sea water. My mom would tell me that fish would be waiting down there to eat ur poop. Uh huh….I guess it’s the cycle of nature. Anyway, we always frequent Kuala Selangor/Bagan Serai for seafood fixes back when we were still living in Kapar. It was teh fun. That’s why I’m champion at eating crabs. Chilli crab, black pepper or ‘kam hiong’…..they’re the best! Dunno wat’s ‘kam hiong’? Go buy me a pair of Converse peace socks with camouflage patterns and I’ll tell u.

So, we arrived safely at around 12 midnight. We should do this again. 

So, everybody went back to school. sigh…….

Checked my results the other day…….it was a disgrace, a disappoinment, utter crap. I guess that's what I deserve anyway. No lame excuses……no…..stop thinking up lame crap to justify my results this sem. THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO JUSTIFY. *sigh*
 So, I waited 1 day to finally blurt it out to my parents. They seemed ok but I know they're disappointed. Of course, there would be the I-told-you-so lecture and the I-had-so-much-hope-on-you hints.*sigh*

Times like these, one needs to go  out and get some ice cream but all I'll get in s'wan would be trans-fat laden, palm oil based lousy ice-creams….. it adds to the sorrow. On the other hand, Inferno does look tempting…..

So, they said,

"Since you have nothing to do…why don't you use these 2 months to buck up on studies. You know you'll be taking those subjects right? Read up on them la…."

"yea…yea…sure…."

 uh huh…..i think i have to go study now. like, yeah……NOW!

damn. 

So, it's Easter morning and my mom wanted me to go to church with her.

I avoided being nasty and declined nicely even though she kept on pushing. Finally, she backed down. But before hopping on to the car…..she decided to give one last shot.
mom: Come with me la…..I'm alone u know….(my dad's sleeping after a night shift)

me: Dowan…..you got ur friends there wud….

mom:No la…no friends there…..all dowan to talk to me…..(yeah, right mrs.lee)

me:Dowan la….U go la…..

mom:Come la….

me:Dowan la….U go la…..

mom:Come la….

me:Dowan la….U go la…..

mom:Come la….

me:Dowan la….U go la…..

mom:Ok la…..u come and lock the door k

Then she got into the car.

Then she came out of the car

and said,

"Hei, instead of doing nonsense later ah, why don't u go and read the bible? Any part of it will do…read ah…"

Ouch….

So, I've been doing nonsense all along huh……

''yes ma" (*sigh*)

*sigh*

*sigh*

I can’t even secure a job which essentially involves only dough kneading…..terribly useless. I’m lower than the scum at the bottom of my dad’s fish pond. Times like these, I hate myself for making stupid decisions like forsaking the normal route of special sem and having 3 months’ break. Now smartass, what joo gonna do?

shit.

well, I guess I gonna live off my dad’s hard-earned money and sweet-talk him to buying things for me…..like the moto razr v3i.Hmmm…..but I also fail terribly at sweet-talking. Sad.

I can’t do experiments with my mom home all the time. I can’t spend too much time on tv/internet/sleeping without her nagging and being emo. hmmm…. tough…tough……

well…..why not set some goals and see how far I go?

First…..get money to buy v3i……this takes time and careful words…..maybe later k

second….get those lard off my tub of a body………this, needs exercise and strict dieting…..plausible….but i know it won’t work ……maybe, if I’m that desperate for things to do…

third…..learn/relearn things…. dabble abit guitar/piano….or go for classes….*cringe*

fourth…..start my own business and get rich.

*slaP*bitchslaP*slap* oi!!u think easy meh….

damn……. i just want a bloody job.

damndamndamn….damn

I’m 20 and hopeless.

—add on—

I forgot my tickle password and later did that email thing where they send my password. I had a good laugh…..

my password was ‘lansi’……ahahahahah….i love myself.

oh yeah…got this from phoebs’ blog

tOast, your true color is Red!

Your color is red, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. So, since you’re ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don’t wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in. Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn’t in what you’re doing, you won’t be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That’s why some reds have trouble with commitment. Our advice? Next time you’re feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it’s great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do.

what i think is…….

yea…i’m impulsive alright, but not when it comes to buying stuff…

fickle minded….check

romantic?….hmm dunno bout that

often dissatisfied?….check

afraid of commitment?…….CHECK!!all the way, dude….

and of course…..I didn’t know I had a fetish for the colour RED……for all I care, I ‘ve never even liked it.

I try to make the best of this nothing-interesting-to-do-ness but honestly, it gets to me sometimes. I am so bloody bored today!!! Nothing good on tv….imagine me, settling on discovery channel for some culinary history just for some high. No, more like a third-hand high. Well, I did some gardening and am quite proud of myself. Did I mention I made a big joke last time I did some gardening?

Yeah, so I made a mountain of dirt, shaped it and called it a whale. Then I bought some carpet grass and planted them on the whale in patches. It is only natural then to call it ‘Patches’. Read it with me now, say, ‘paht-chuzzz’…no, no, pucker up and say ‘-chuzzzz’…yeah, like that…hahaha

But today, today, I didn’t want it to be a joke. So, I planned, strategized and executed with care. I executed alright, albeit not so brilliantly. Ok, so I made a mess……

You see, I just refuse to do the normal gardening. The one where a middle-aged woman sits quietly near a flower bed weeding gently, well, and humming a song or something…..then trying to stand up later to cranky knees and dizziness due to blood rush. No, that’s not my way of doing things.

Usually, my work involves machineries and lots of them…..because I just like to complicate things to look cool. In this case, since I can’t get my hands on some cool machineries, I took hold of some gardening tools. There is the rake, the spade, the hoe (though pronounced somewhat like ‘whore’, it is, I promise, not related to the latter) and the wheelbarrow. What I wanted to do was uproot the grass of an area and replace them with carpet grass. This is because they’ve grown too long and my dad couldn’t be arsed to trim them. So, as a one-shot solution, I decided to plant short grass.

*omg, sean paul is playing right now. Can anybody actually understand what’s he trying to say? I can only catch certain words…and assume the best.*

Well, I’ve uprooted the grass with the hoe (cangkul) and notice that a lot of soil is stuck to the roots. Trying to salvage these soil, I piled the whole bunch of them and filled the wheelbarrow with water. Using the rake, I kinda sieved the grass away from the soil cause the soil will eventually be washed off and sink to the bottom. Well smartass, what to do with the remaining slurry?

Guess what I did?

Before that, here’s an insight to how my mind works. Everything should return to wherever they came from. That’s my mantra at the time.

So I poured the whole load onto the bare ground. It bloody flooded. So, the ground does not absorb as well as I thought it should. Hahahahah…..you should see my dad’s reaction. Mind you, a whole wheelbarrow load of water+mud slurry is A LOT to a 7×4 feet area.

Well, I’m not so clueless now. So I reduced the amount of water to add and made some more mess. Gardening is hard work. I have to clear a whole 19×13ft area. Though it sounds little, it’s actually quite a lot. And my limbs ache like shit…..a telltale of how little I did for the past few days.

And shaking the soil off the roots is not an option, cos it’s tedious and so uncool.

Just finished watching 'Real Women Have Curves'.

It's about a plump girl whom her mom calls her 'butterball' all the time. Think it's sweet? Well, think again. She's bright and everything but her mom is one of those who's had a hard life and little education. Frankly, her mom is a pain in the ass till the very end of the story. She denies Ana of education because she wants her to work in the factory, sewing 18-dollar dresses which would later be sold in Bloomingdale's for 600 dollars. All this for the simple reason that she can't let go of her baby. Well, the real reason is disguised in the form of insisting on her living the typical simple life (getting married, have children, yadda yadda) and keeping her with the family. Well. in the end Ana left her family to go to Columbia University, without her mother's blessing. I'd say, big deal. She can give her blessing later when Ana has earned her respect from the world.

Actually, yeah, of course you would feel bad for not getting your mother's blessings to go so far away. But it's just for a moment that your mom couldn't take the fact that you're leaving the hellhole. She'll have to deal with it, while you frolic in the sun. Hehehh…

Well, it turns out, Ana's mom, Carmen, is having a mid-life crisis and menopause. If you're smart, you would've expect these two. There you go, menopausing women are dangerous. They could ruin you emotionally with just their presence near you.Then you'll be reduced to a pile of crying shit wondering why you're mom didn't take more tofu.

But Ana was great. She handled it very delicately but she still fought for what she thinks is right.

And I like that.

Don't get too absorbed watching tv. You'll turn out like me.

And I've watched so many reruns that I can say the next line before them. How sad is that?

I tried smoking tomatoes today. Weird? yeah, that's wat my mom thought too. I kena kau-kau from her ler………hmmm….next time must try stunts like these when she's NOT at home.