Not Fun Anymore

It was a rainy afternoon and I spent it looking for matching tops. Not for me, silly.
It’s Jess. She’s back, with a skirt. And she’s hunting down the perfect top to go with it. Not bad, but Jess, it IS a big mistake to bring me along hunting for THINGS TO GO WITH SKIRTS.

I’ll tell you people a not-so-big secret, I have only ONE piece of skirt, lying around rotting in my cupboard. Well, of course I wore pinafores in school but that’s different. So, the one and only skirt was chosen and bought by my mum, it’s a necessity I guess, so that I won’t think back and say “hey, I’ve never even owned a skirt before”. If you need to know, it’s a simple skirt, off-white, not too costly, I don’t hate it and it’s now left in the cupboard, bitter.

I must say, though I don’t fancy wearing a skirt, I don’t think I’m a tomboy either, or a butch(this term sounds harsh, i hate it) for that matter. I don’t know what I am, I just don’t wanna spend my time applying cream and shaving hair off my calves. Because skirts just don’t go with hairy legs. So, I chose the easy way out. Furthermore, I don’t need to impress by dressing up nicely, do I? Hiahiahiahiah….. So, unless I need to impress, I’m not wearing a skirt anytime soon.

Oh, and why do they have to label every kind of people in the world? Sien.

And I’m not a feminist either, I love ogling at pageants.

So, back to Jess. We were there walking through rows and rows of blouses, cardigans, lala-ish shirts etc. and emm….we figured the only colours that match her skirt are white, baby blue and black. Black is out of the question, cos it’s gloomy and we wouldn’t want Jess to look any gloomier now, do we?

So she tried on a few, I try to look disinterested but she keeps on asking me these questions. These impossible questions that I don’t know the answers to. Well, I’m exaggerating. I actually answered based on what I don’t see people wearing on the streets. Smart, eh?
She finally setled for umm… I dunno whatchu-call-it..but it was baby blue.

Oh yeah, during those sessions in the fitting room I took a few perverse pictures(from the gap, hihihi) with HER handphone.

Why?

Cos, I don’t have a cameraphone, silly.

Mine is monochromatic(meaning black and white lar, who dunno wor?) somemore, keng ler?

No, I’m not a pervert. It’s just boring waiting outside trying to listen to what she’s mumbling inside.
And no, I’m not good at taking pictures either because I didn’t get anything juicy enough to blackmail her.

Then we trudged through mud and dirt to find a pair of flip-flops to go with her newly acquired ensemble. Yeah, gime the wtf look now. Flip-flops? Skirt? Dooooode, that’s soooo wrong….
But I went along with her. I kept hmmmm….quiet? But I did point out that I liked that one particular pair. And she bought it, how’s that for trusting in my taste?
The only reason I dare to write it out now is because Jess’ computer at home, in sitiawan, is beyond repair. So when she finally gets to read this, in KL, she’s at a safe distance from me. Unless somebody rats me out. Well, you gotta say,I’m smart, eh?

Self praise is no praise? Who eats that shit? If I stop praising myself now, my self-esteem would plummet like the stocks during the great depression.

I’ve just finished watching ‘The Addams’ Family’ and when everything closes and the list of casts appeared, I had only, only one thought in my mind. Morticia Addams might be the darkest, most seductive and most pretty character that’s on the good side. Depending on how one defines the ‘good’ side. A few Italian roll-of-the-tongue and Gomez would fall weak in the knees. I wish I had a superpower like THAT! LIKE WHOAAAAA…….

Then I could get a RAZR V3i with hardly any effort. Cool!

Today, ama gonnae teach you noobs some chinese dialect.

So, I was at Gopeng yesterday, around dinner time. My mom couldn't remember the name of a particular restaurant. As usual, I can easily recall names and numbers most of the time. So I blurted out "Chih(4) kar(2) Fatt(1)". <–those numbers in brackets show the tone of the word. Check wiki out. Well I meant to say it in Hakka, because my mom is Hakka by origin. It was at the spur of the moment as I'm used to listening to her talk in Hakka whenever she's with her siblings, in Gopeng. But it came out so wrong.

The actual chinese name is "齐家发". It means prosper together or everybody is properous. It is pronounced as,

1)"qi(2) jia(1) fa(4)" in mandarin

2)"chai(3) kar(1) fatt(4)" in cantonese

3)"cheh(3) kar(2) fatt(1)" in hakka <–(the correct pronunciation, the one I'm supposed to say)

What my mom heard, she interpreted it in Cantonese. "Chih(4) kar(2) Fatt(1)" actually meant "stick false hair" in Cantonese. Meaning to apply a wig with glue on the head.

What I said, "Chih(4) kar(2) Fatt(1)", meant

1)"To stick a wig on the head" in Cantonese

2)"To prosper alone or by oneself" in hakka [because "Chih(4) kar(2)" means oneself, as in "自己"]

Damn, I was laughing by myself in the car, for being such a genius. Then, I couldn't stop laughing again when getting the towel for a shower, while showering and on the way back my room. I am so damn effing smart.

*wheee*

Yeah, and I went shopping at Ipoh Parade. I am so ghey cos I bought a pink shirt. It was quite a steal, only RM34. *wheee*

And I finally bought another pair of socks.

I am happy

*wheeee*

so, ama gonnae put up another Mika Nakashima song, titled Oborozukiyo Inori

(must check out the violinist)

(it will take a while to download, so click on 'play' and pause it to let it finish loading first)

Disclaimer : Profanities are used because I am so damn pissed. Run along now, if you don't enjoy people ranting. 

Maybe I don't have the right to rant because I don't have a life or something. But I need to rant now, badly. 

First, I saw an idiot pick his nose while at the traffic lights. Doesn't he know that the sight of him picking his nose with the left hand and using his right to turn the steering is fucking disgusting? Everyone can see him clearly and can probably die of disgust. There should be a community service message or something telling people: "Unless you car is heavily tinted, do not do anything that suggests you are freaking picking your nose, or worse, fapping. Which, by the way, if your car is heavily tinted, please introduce yourself to a JPJ officer and tell him that your car is heavily tinted."

Second, when I am driving, everybody should fucking shut up.

Thirdly, do not substitute lime juice with vinegar in your tom yam soup. Because, 

1) I am not an idiot.

2) I can freaking smell vinegar even for the tiniest drop you put in the whole dish. I am that sensitive and I don't like that freaking smell. 

2)It shows that you are a cheapskate with questionable business tactics/tastebuds.

3)It leaves a bitter aftertaste when eaten with mee hoon.

Fourth, if I wanna eat rubbery squid, I can freaking cook it myself.

Fifth, I don't like being accused. It's the trigger to make me shout at you. And I'll be giving everything the piercing stare for the rest of the day. Even the toilet bowl will suffer the same fate. 

Sixth, do not undermine me whenever I'm doing something or make snide remarks. I freaking hate that. And I will spend the rest of the day thinking of ways to torture you. Like gouging your eyeballs out with an ice-cream scoop and leave them dangling or disemboweling you with a blunt, rusty piece of metal. You know I don't want to spend the rest of the day thinking bad thoughts, so keep nasty comments to yourself and rot from the inside.

Seven, Mawi deserves to be exiled. Every image of him should be disfigured/burnt, whichever deemed fancy at the moment an image is spotted. 

Ok, I'm done.

So, while at another traffic light stop, I saw a mat rempit being stupid. I don't know what is the term but he was kinda ramming the bike and finally lifted up his front wheel while going along with only the rear wheel. I think it's called 'drag', but I'm not sure. So, I bet he was feeling all proud of himself for finally being able to do this trick in front of so many motorists, waiting at the junction, bored, looking for entertainment. Just then, he crashed. But it wasn't serious, he can still get up and start his bike. But by that time, all the cars behind him were kinda speeding to beat the red light. It was REAL~~~ly dangerous. Do you think he learnt his lesson?

Well, I don't. But he was pwned. Hahahhaha….noob.

I would watch Forrest Gump for the 167th time and I would never get bored. I never fail to "almost cry" or "laugh like an idiot" everytime I watch that movie. Damn funny, I love it.

So, I was lurking around cyberspace again…. checking out blogs and I stayed on xiaxue.blogspot.com a little more than usual. She's just the in-your-face type who writes whatever she thinks. Although it might seem that she's just a bimbo who likes to camwhore, is selfish, ignorant and picks at everything, she's cool. I'm not a fan, but somehow, some things that she say are really true, in a twisted way. Like the survival of the fittest thing. I used to think like her, that only the fit shall survive and stupids should just die. But now, after years of being a prick, I've mellowed down and now I'm torn between the two thoughts. Fine, but I gotta admit she's kinda anoying.

FYI, I'm still a prick. 

And I love Nigella. You know, the cooking show. She's umm…..sexy. (disclaimer: I am straight) Anybody would agree with me that she is totally hot. And she made custard the other day, I finally saw how damn sinful custard is. Only the yolk of the egg is used and a whole load of them too! And double-cream, damn. But, YUM! it HAS GOTTA taste GOOD! 

………developed the ultimate ability to stare at screens for hours without any self-loathing.

Computer and tv are my lifefriends now. Say hi to Phil and Soni. Be nice to them, cos they're kinda square.

Maybe Mahathir should shaddup. Oh, what do I know……I'm just a kid.

I took care not to quote/unquote from local dailies, cos some might say that they are controlled, somewhat.

Some things that got me thinking.

"I am unhappy only when you kowtow," he said. "This is our country, yet we have to seek permission from another country to build a bridge on our side. Where is the sovereignty?"

You said it, right.  What good is a bridge "on our side"? So that you could enjoy the view of the sea and plop into the sea halfway to Singapore? Of course we don't need their permission to build a bridge "on our side", they'd be euphoric, that they have something to laugh at.

"I think this is a… country with no guts."

Why do we need guts? What do we need to show to other ppl? That we created the longest satay? Guts? I rather like the way our current prime minister, who's working his way there by first improving the fundamentals. Like the welfare of the ppl. 

"It said this would ease congestion on the causeway."

So that more Malaysians could go over to work? So that more brains and money will flow to Singapore? So that more Singaporeans could drive their big-ass SUVs here and laugh at us? I must say, even if you build 3 more bridges, there would still be congestion. It's just the mystifying Law of Vehicular Kiasu-ness working its magic. Then again, I might be wrong. But if we really want so much mutuality, we might as well get Singapore back into Malaysia. Wait, I don't think Singapore is ever willing.
"Mr Abdullah is currently in the Caribbean and has made no response to Dr Mahathir's comments."

I sure love his ways. If one has nothing nice to say, say nothing. 

I spent the better part of Labour Day in Ipoh. My parents are hell-bent on trying everything that has appeared on the show 'A Taste With Jason'. I mentioned it ….a few posts before.

So we had lunch in Ipoh Town, in a chicken rice shop. Honestly, I don't understand my mom. We were supposed to go to this shop called 'rasa sayang'(lame, cheesy, i know), which offers chicken rice. But, upon seeing that its next-door neighbour is packed to the brim compared to 'rasa sayang', she went in, ignoring my calls for mercy.

Sien.

So we waited for like 40 minutes to be served some chicken, char siu, acar, vege, soup and rice. Record-breaking stunt brought to you by '白宫'. Yeah, the restaurant is named 白宫, which means 'white castle'. Strange, I faintly remember the fast food chain 'White Castle', where I enjoyed their ice-cream very much. Well, it was record-breaking because no self-respecting chicken rice shop would take 40 minutes to chop a few pieces of chicken, scoop up some dishes and present it to the almost-tearing customers, no matter how long a list of order before them. 40 mins…….bah.

Nothing spectacular, I had better ones in Sri Serdang.

Then we headed to Jusco. I had nothing in mind to buy so I sticked to my parents. Well, mom decided to scour the ladies' dept. and dad wanted to check out the electronics part. And I followed dad. Then I got bored also and finally wandered off by myself.

First stop, MPH. I figured since it was already the 1st of May, 'Stuff' mag should be out already but I was let down. Not knowing what else to get, I spotted a mag called 'Max It'. Grabbed it, paid and left MPH in a jiffy. Then I went down to the food dept. to meet up with my parents. While pushing the cart and putting the utmost 'sien'-nest expression on my face, I opened the protective plastic cover and started flipping through the magazine. Damn, I wasted Rm6 ON THIS JUNK. It goes on and on about the specs of the products and other things that are a bore. The way they arrange their words pretty much put me to sleep. Worse of all, they have no eye for beauty. Pictures are taken like how one would take a mugshot. Aesthetics : 0,WZ's bloodshot veins: 100000x;

I 'd rather put in RM2 more to get 'STUFF'. At least their pictures are to drool for, even if I can't afford any of the things featured there. Hmpph…

So it was left wherever it was left after I brought it out from the car. No eye see…

But after shopping at Jusco, we went visiting my aunt who has just came back from KL after an operation. She looks fine. I'm glad.

Then all of us went to Bercham to follow the 'A Taste With Jason' trail, again. This time, it's wantan mee, which is fine with me cos I love them to death. Word of advice, there are no good wantan mees in Sitiawan or anywhere in the Manjung area. If anyone tells you otherwise, proceed with caution.

It was a pleasant surpise. They have PRAWN WANTANS!! (And all the angels rose to sing in unison which later ended in a spectacular harmony of lights and sound) **droool*droool**

Crunchy, fresh, as big as my pinkie and luminous behind the thin veil of wantan-skin. Heavenly.

Prawn wantans are hard to find. This is my first taste of them after…..2 or 3 years. Even the last one I had was at 'Chopstick Noodlehouse' (or something to that effect). And this time, it was a thousand times cheaper than chopstick poodlehouse noodlehouse.

**sigh**

At the dinner table, the topic of 'stinky tofu' (臭豆腐) arised. Apparently the stinkiest, the most revolting but super-delicious tofu of all, it is sold at a certain pasar malam.
So we went in search for it. We arrived at somewhre before Gunung Rapat, opposite Billion supermarket where the pasar malam is held. Strange, we couldn't smell anything. According to my cousin, chances are, that the stall is not open. Undeterred, we trekked through the whole stretch. It was a fruitless expedition.

No fear, we can always come next time. Now I can tell you all the crimes that the stinky tofu has commited.

Its stall owner was banned from operating in Tmn Chempaka after complaints from residents within the 500m-radius that the stench is too much to bear. Even its hardcore-fans can't stand the smell. Similarly, according to my second aunt, name witheld, there used to be a stinky tofu stall in SS2 pj but was also banned from operating. And I'm not joking about the 500m-radius.

However, once you get pass the smell and sink your teeth into the evil little thing. You'll get hooked, right on. So, they say.

I AM VERY CURIOUS NOW.

Well, better luck next time. To compensate, I had a 'pao'(奶油包) on my way back.