Not Fun Anymore

I wonder if there’s ever such a thing as fate. You know, sometimes you come across a sentence like ‘as fate would have it, Nancy wasn’t thinking straight that morning and died with her head rolled over by an 18-wheeler’. Though I tend to overlook the phrase ‘as fate would have it’ (because it’s just so cliched), and go straight to the awesome part, it all makes sense now how appropriate that sentence sounds.

If I’d ever believe in fate, I would like to believe that I’m one of those lucky assholes that’ll will live life without needing to lift my finger for anything and will always be blessed with everything. Yes, I hope everything would just fall from the sky. That’ll be great. *please God, lemme be one of them lucky assholessouls*

But then again, I am not that shallow. I will still try to work hard to get whatever I want in life and as a safety net, yeah I need myself to believe that I’m a lucky assholessoul. It’s all about the confidence after all.

Was feeling a bit feverish just now. I hantam loads of cold watermelons and slept. That didn’t quite work, though. It was only after I took a panadol tablet that I felt better. Again, I thank God for Panadol. Me, panadol dependent? No…….. it’s only when it’s necessary. What? It’ll screw my kidneys real bad? Hah, oh well, there’s always a catch right?

Oh, I have to mention this. I can pop a Panadol into my mouth and suck it like how you would suck on sweets. It’s not bad at all, in fact, the aftertaste is quite good. Then I’ll drink a good big glass of water to wash everything down. And I’ll be fine in about an hour or half.

No, I’m not weird.

And I don’t understand why I used to hate eating watermelons. It’s the best!! But only if the watermelon is sweet la…… if not, like munching on cucumber only. Where got shyiokk?

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-update-

the panadol I took got me a mild allergic reaction. Panadol tipu!!!!Tipu!!!!Tipu!!!! If I ever wanted acetylsalicylic acid, I would’ve just go and pop an aspirin into my mouth right??!! Damn Panadol!!!Tipu!!! Or maybe I bought fakeplan panadols. Shit!! Eitherway, my eye feels weird now.

So, I finally know the reason to why my circuits class was cancelled yesterday. It’s because my lecturer got sick. Did I ever mention to you that she’s cute? Yeah, you might not be able to stop yourself from smiling to yourself whenever she does something, anything. She’s THAT adorable.
But today, she turned up with this sexy, husky voice she got from her sore throat. I feel sorry for her. She should’ve just cancelled the class. Puasa time samo, I’d say it’s a win-win situation lo, if she did cancel it.  But she didn’t. What a bummer. Okla…..very dedicated la….must give her credit for that. Sheesh……sometimes I just wish they’re not that rajin.
Okay, anyway, I ‘ve got three tests and the finals coming. I so have to start studying.

and projects and assignments are all jumping up at me at the same time. Gonna be so busy la…… haih…..

Suddenly, I crave for lassi. Orange lassi, to be exact.

There was a time when I was so confident with myself, so certain of everything, so very carefree that I breeze through everything. Yeah, at that time, studies was a piece of cake. I can memorize stuff in a jiffy without the fear of my mind going blank when I reach the exam hall. And I always get them right. That’s the kind of confidence that I gravely need nowadays.

If I were superstitious enough, I would’ve think of it as my luck is turning around, to the worst. However, being the very sensible and staunch believer that everything can be explained by simple science and logic, the reason why I’m in such dire a state, is attributed to the fact that I’m bloody lazy, have no foresight and the lackadaisical attitude that I carry these days.

I think I’m such a baby that I need my parents’ constant nagging to spur me on. And to think that I’ve always retaliated with ‘but I’m already 20, I know what I’m doing’. Yeah, right. If I knew what I was doing, I wouldn’t always screw up now, would I?

Nowadays, I wouldn’t even emo if I got only a little bit over the passing mark. I don’t care enough. I wish I’d cared and at least do something about it. I used to make up punishments for myself if I score badly although they were rarely meted out. Nowadays, I just go ‘cukup makan la…….not bad’. See the difference? Think me crazy for all I care, but I NEED some motivation here.

It’s the attitude. I hate it. It’s hard to change….

*so you put on a small voice, and ask timidly*

‘But are you ever going to change?’

*…..and after 5 seconds, a voice booms all over, rays of light slicing through them fluffy clouds*

‘That depends………that…… depends……..’

‘……on what, I don’t know.’

Oh, you don’t know how ‘dire’ a state I’m in?

Well, to start off, there’s this subject called numec which I totally phael at. Then another subject, circuits, which is supposed to be bloody easy but I don’t see it as that. At all. Then if I don’t score good enough this semester, I risk the wrath of my parents and in turn, that will get my car repossessed, by them, of course. And, another thing is that, I’m in this field where they actually favour guys, so, if I don’t do well enough I might as well throw my scroll into the dump and go sell burger. Oh wait, even then, I don’t see many females flipping burger patties by the roadside.

Now, you know.

……I AM in deep shit.

Sometimes, when your mind clears and you suddenly realise where you are rightly standing and where you are heading exactly, you’ll go “shit, I’m in real DEEP shit!”

Everything seems to fall to place, not exactly favourable to you but my, how they fall. Reality sets in, and you go “shit, I’m in real DEEP shit!”. Again.

How I phael.

Woe be me.

I AM in deep shit.

and I can’t even cough up a witty remark to laugh at my current situation, like Eric Foreman. That’s how deep some shit that I’m in.

I’m so helplessly sunken in deep shit.

This is another self-pity post. Don’t mind me. Go smoke some weed and come back jolly, yeah.

Just messing around.

It’s getting annoying that I keep on losing those rubberbands that tie my hair and I’ve just broke a hair clip just now. Damn….

I’m restless.

I wish I was smarter so I wouldn’t need to spend so much time studying.

I’ve only got a month til final comes. I’m so gonna die.

okay, don’t even talk about politics yet. Why don’t we start with how many of us college students actually read the newspaper or news form the internet? I mean READ, not glance through or go straight to the comics.

From what I gather, there aren’t many.

I bet not many actually know what’s a coup’d e tat or that it had happened in Thailand, our neighbour. So this fact(lack of general knowledge) leads to many many things you know……..

*switch to keh poh mode*

1) How are you going for a job interview ah?

Like, what’s the market like. How are you gonna outperform those who actually knows what the market needs? How the hell are you gonna impress the interviewer(s)?

2) I wonder how good is your mastery of ANY language.

Some people can’t even string a proper sentence, much more having the correct spelling. Don’t get me started on political correctness. I’ve seen enough bloopers that they’re not even funny anymore. You know that feeling……I know you do.

3) The next generation will probably be sooo ignorant and dumb that they will not qualify for voting.

I wouldn’t want dumbasses voting for the wrong government that rallies for tax-free alcohol and legal all-night partying with sex orgy as the after-party bonus, would I? Then we’ll get a dumber generation after the dumb generation itself. Imagine a world full of in-bred retards who can’t even wipe their own ass after pooping and are so dependent that after their parents die, they too will collapse a few days later because they don’t know how to cook Maggi. Or IF they ARE smart enough to cook maggi, they too will die in a few years time due to cancer, or maybe malnutrition.

4) And then ah, I only talk about knowledge here ok…..what about social etiquette and the other things that make us useful, relevent human-beings?

Like, even if you are very the smart la…… but you don’t know cock about manners, humility, and all other stuffs that make you tolerable or even likable to another human being? Then, you’re just another high performance robot with no soul. Nobody can understand why you keep on touching the spoonful of rice to your nose before putting it in your mouth. Neither will they comprehend why you must keep that horrible side parting hairstyle and thick black-rimmed glasses. You so PHAEL, dudefreak.

All these……spun from the simple fact that you don’t keep up with current affairs or read anything but text books. Of course, there are many, many, other implications but I’m only interested in listing out those that I feel strongly about and those that I like to kutuk.

I really can’t wait to see what’s gonna happen when I’m 50.

Maybe I’ll keel over and die even before that.

Due to dumbasses that drive like shit on the road and give me heart attacks every now and then. I can only take so much……….

Like, if you are done with an operation on the calculator, and it came up with the figure 134.267878, how many decimal places will you write down as your answer for a subject like thermo?

huh?

Like, normal people will either round it up to be 134 kPa or paling banyak oso 134.17 kPa right?

Guess what I took.

134.267878. That’s what exactly I wrote as my answer.

I’m telling you, Numec is totally screwing me up.

After writing it down, I stared at it for a couple of seconds and thought, “bloody hell”.

I scare myself sometimes.

Oh……… I bought a fresh pack of super-freaking-good-stuff marshmallows.

Again.

Ilovethemmarshmallows.don’tyou?don’tyou?

Luckily this stuff won’t make me go broke like, say, a water filter cartridge (PJ-5RC, which cost me RM39.00). And luckily, I only change the filter once in about 2 years. I still want to bitch about this…. I bitch I bitch I want to bitch!!

I wish I could do something exciting for a change.

Life, now, is so stale. Yes, stale, deadpan, mundane.

But no sky-diving or BASE-jumping……I could die……from the over-excitement, you see.

Maybe something like a holiday….umm….yeah, a holiday at the beach or somewhere where I can go hiking. Or just buy me some bloody good books already!!! I have no money to buy them!!! Dammit….

Yea……

One more thing, I read some ppl’s blog ah….they never swear or say anything bitchy wan hor (no, pb, I’m not implying it’s you, or maybe, i am….wahahah….yes yes it’s you). So I wonder hoh…..where do youthey let out steam lo…. not got getting all those anger cooped up ler…or maybe……you have another blog that you swear and curse AND bitch like so much. Or maybe you should start one……if you haven’t have one already, that is. Bitch more la….. it’s the way to go, yo!

………..reading for hours and hours to end. Anything but text books, of course.

But it’s a luxury now, even to read a few pages of magazine. Because

1) I’ve finished reading every book I have in hand since the start of this sem.

2) Uniten’s library has an appallingly uninteresting fiction collection.

3) I am 100 miles away from a good bookshop. Figuratively speaking, when everyday is taken up by unimportant stuff that I cannot get out from, and there wouldn’t be enough time for me to hang and choose a good book anyway.

4) I doubt I have enough to spare for a book. Maybe, maybe, if I eat grass for a week, I’ll scrape by.
This is so not cool.

Why don’t we ever have book-crossing in Malaysia?

Oh yeah, because ppl will probably use it to wrap roti canai instead of appreciating it.

I did not expect today to be so……so…….enjoyable. Yes, enjoyable.

Though tiring.

So when I finally decided to check the handphone for the last time before getting up this morning, it already shows 7.36 a.m. Oops…….

I was supposed to be at the bus stop at eight to go for the factory visit. And at 7.36 a.m, I haven’t even freshen up, had breakfast or what’s more, pooped. So I skipped having breakfast and pooping. Hurriedly, I washed my face, brushed my teeth and got changed. I sudah sampai bus stop all………..tengok-tengok only got 3 orang and no bus. You say I pei onot?

But the trip was great. I even managed to chat up the lecturer, who was sitting beside me all the way there and back. Either I’m a good conversationalist or he just plain enjoys telling stories. Heheheh…..but it was great. He told me stuffs, his experience working here and there, his trips to Japan and loads of others. I was quite interested about the Japan part, because I really want to go there. Parents’ money or not, AH AM GOING FO’ SHORE.

Oh, why was I sitting with the lecturer you ask?

It’s because I don’t have any friends in the class. *blush*

No la……..just that I am not cool enough to sit with the others who all have their partners to sit with.

No, la……actually it’s because I so graciously waited for everyone to get into the bus that there were no more seat for me left but the one next to him. Happy now?

*yes…i’m a slowpoke*

So, the factory, the SIRIM Machinery Thingie Factory, is located in Rasa, somewhere in Rawang. Serious dead ULU place that was. But it was filled with millions and millions worth of machineries. Whichever way you might like to think of it, it is either there to really help SMEs to develop technologies and broaden business opportunities, or to simply squander off government funds. I’m cool with either one, because everything there is just so mindblowingly HUGE. So, you thought green sand casting was just a 3×3 foot wide cope and drag filled with green sand and hot metal poured into the basin with a kitchen’s equivalent of a ladle?

Try this, the cope and drag are bigger than a car, the ‘green’ sand is not even green but black, the ladle can fit you inside with space left for your favourite human sized stuffed Winnie the Pooh, and the machine to mix sand and resin is THREE freaking stories high. You say, awesome onot? I was floored.

Oh well, the visit ended and we got back safely at about 2.30p.m. And I had class at 3p.m. Did I mention I did not have lunch OR breakfast except some drinks? Oh, I guess I haven’t. So yeah, the half-hour was spent slowly pouring cereals and milk into my bowl and later, guess what, munching them slowly. I enjoy k…

But during Dynamics class and tutorial, I could’ve just slept off or died.

Then ah…….5 O’clock hor……I went for the amazing race thing organized by techflow. Memang cari pasal habis. Amazing RACE weih……even though I’m a gay-master gay-mistress game-master, I also kena run lorr…….then and it rained. wahahah….but it was fun….. cos these few days were very deadpan for me. It is *so exciting* to run half the campus in the rain. We finished second. Which I made a fuss over because, we’ve arrived first but somehow couldn’t answer ONE question. But, really, I don’t give two flying squirrels about being first or second because I’m the gay-mastergame-master and furthermore I also vowed not to let Alex win.  But I made a fuss anyway, cos I’m an asshole. And the crazy people all used a weird contraption with a needle at the end to poke water balloons placed on ppl’s head. Yeah, I stayed away from them.

And I got home and almost died-ed. So tired, now waiting for my hair to dry.

So, ciao~