Not Fun Anymore

Running will NOT make a stomach ache go away.

It causes nausea instead.

Funny, but I thought it would. Like how it makes a headache go away.

It’s true what they say, take everything with a pinch of salt. Yes, don’t trust every word that comes out of a person’s mouth because a hidden agenda will always be there. But you would say that being too suspicious surely is not a good thing either, right? Yeah, but from what I’ve gathered, it’s better to be suspicious and proceed with caution. It won’t really save your ass sometimes, but at least you get to say ‘I saw that coming, didn’t I?’.

For someone who lacks foresight, I am definitely counting on that pinch of salt, to keep me away from trouble.

So today, I’m gonna teach you people what you might or might not have already known.

Objective:

To actually make you understand how to handle difficult people, which are basically categorized into 1) Bitchy

2) Acceptably Bitchy

3) Not that Bitchy but somehow annoying

4) Safe people (people you’ve known and trust to not be bitchy, though few, they are very much appreciated and will not be discussed here)

Damn tulan today, u know. That’s why I decided to kutuk kau-kau.

Bitchy People:

These kind of people are basically born with supercharged emo mode. Like a nuclear reactor, they don’t wear out their nuclear power that easily. Like what the cantonese say, ‘lei sei khui dou mei sei ah’–which translates to, you die she also notchet die ah. Everyday, emo-emo. Little problem come up, sure emo and put on sour face to show people that they’re actually emo-ing. You try to be nice and ask what actually happened….then they turn their emo-ness on you and make you feel as though you are the one who had actually went to hell and absorbed all the evil to purge it on them. Normally, if this is what I feel after talking to these people for a while, I’ll try to change the subject to a safer one. Or, better, find an excuse to dart. Like, ‘hei, I’m VERY hungry, I’ll go grab something at the foodcourt first, then I’ll come back to you ok?’. Everybody who’s sane enough will not go back to them. Or, if you’ve got the guts or when you’re in an especially mean mood, shoot them a killer look and say ‘hei, I didn’t put you into this shit ok? Don’t talk like I was the one who made everything bad in this world happen to you ok? And save your monkey-emo-face for yourself ok? I’m not your mother to cry to, ok? Your fault la if you’re a dumbass.’ And dart. Make sure you look pretty pissed when you dart. And make sure to cross them out of your birthday party list. However if you’re really stuck with them, god bless your soul la, I cannot do anything and I’ll understand if you ever do anything like cutting your wrists.

Acceptably Bitchy People:

These people are ok to talk to, once in a while. Because they’re not as bad as those in no.1. They are quite commonly found. Only when trouble comes that you will see their bitchy side. You would wish them to shut up, but hei, it’s all alright. Because they don’t actually make the situation any worse, compared to the Bitchy people. Treat these people with mild caution. Never ever forget that they can turn their back on you to suddenly be bitchy.

Not that Bitchy but somehow annoying people:

The usual kind are those who are clingy, dependent on you, always asking you repetitive questions that don’t matter, just to strike up a conversation even though you’re not in the mood. These people will not sit down quietly unless you’ve hurt them enough to be pissed with you. So, to avoid them to be pissed with yourself, just space out whenever they are near you. If they ask anything, answer with limited words or just a grunt. They accept anything that acknowledges their presence. You can even choose to answer alternately or until they actually smack your head to give them an answer. Some are pretty hard to piss-off, so take note of whatever they are easily offended of, and use it wisely.

Conclusion:

After all’s said and done, after every encounter with any of the above people, you would probably need someone to talk to, to throw out all the suppressed disgusts and turn them into the topic to kutuk with your friends, preferably from group 4. If not, just about anybody will do, as long as it’s not the perpetrator herself.

But, in this life, you must know that, without these little annoyances, there will be no kick. Say, like a bowl of tom yam, if it’s not sour or spicy enough, it’s not tom yam at all. Just take it as a game, don’t succumb to all these unnecessary pressures.What I’d like to think is that, if I can’t take these petty stuff, I’m just a useless weakling with no future ahead.

I just came back from dinner and grocery shopping. Settled down, sorted out the stuff bought, sat at the computer walked around and then, I heard a distant meoww-ing. Naturally, I looked out the window and scanned the radius. Nope, nothing that I can see is moving. Wait, it’s not down there, it’s…….from the doorway. So, I walked over and opened the door. There, I found a kitten staring back at me.

Without much thought, the little thing hurried into the living room and rubbed its body on everything including me. The very first thought on my mind was, “Diseased”. It didn’t look healthy at all. Its eyes are swollen are watery, its fur thin and it looks like Gollum. Nothing healthy would look like Gollum. I wanted to shoo it away but hesitated because it probably is feeling very hungry. That explains why it rushed into MY apartment just like that. Did I ever mention that I don’t really like cats? Not very serious, but I think some cats give off a strong musty smell. Much like cockroaches.

Oh, well. So I quickly mixed some milkpowder with lukewarm water and lured the fella out of the apartment. Then, very then that I realise that I don’t have a dish for it to drink from.

Damn.

So I went in and grab some foil and newspaper, folded them somewhat and I have a makeshift saucer in 1 min. Success!!

Then I figured, if I fed it here, it would always come back here for more. That, I don’t want it to happen. So I made my way downstairs with the lil fella tagging along and found a nice place under the stairs. And it drank happily while I tip-toed away.

Job done.

Unlike what Confucious has said, I obviously can not teach a kitten how to fish. But neither am I going to give it any more free food after this. This is where it should start learning to survive by itself. It’s the circle of life and those unfit will be left behind.

But I do hope it will survive after all.

Just stop bugging me for food.

Impatience will not cook a chicken.

When barbequeing the chicken, don’t be too anxious. A chicken needs time for enough heat to get through its inner layer of meat. Just because holding the too near to the fire is no reason to drop that chicken and look for the grill to put the chicken on. When burned, basting sauce is good enough an antiseptic, remember, the chicken needs to be on the fire, no time to get the Bruno. To check whether a chicken is done, poke the meat with something that is pointy and see if juices/blood runs out. If yes, don’t get it off the fire just yet, no matter how charred the skin is. The charring is your fault for placing it too near the fire. When all is done(you think) and everyone is waiting while the chicken is being chopped, and it’s discovered that some parts are still uncooked, just pop the bloody thing into the microwave oven on medium-high for 3 minutes. Voila~